My Thoughts on God

I have to say that I believe in a supreme power.  I have many reasons, but two of them stick out in my mind, and one other was just "confirmation" for me.  The first reason I believe in God is that shortly after graduating High School, when I had that '89 Dodge Daytona that appeared in stories such as "Pull the Hatch, Fire", I got into an accident that could have been much worse.   The second reason is linked Here.

It was the day after Thanksgiving, I was a little sore from playing football at the annual Turkey Bowl*.  It was at this particular game where I sacked an archrival from high school so hard on the first play that asked for a handicap of 21 pts.  (That was so fun)  I woke up early, about 10 o'clock.  After making some breakfast from stuffing and turkey sandwiches, I was going to pick up my best friend to do a little Christmas Shopping (read scopin' out chicks!). 

I got into my little blue car, and turned the ignition.  Instantly the car started. I adjusted the radio and got a slight chill.  I turned out of my parent’s driveway and headed out for the freeway.  Not long after, I started to have a subconscious argument with myself.  Either that or I was hearing a divine voice.  This took place during that time in every young man's life where they truly believe they are invincible.  I never wore my seatbelt with any regularity, unless I was asked too.

"The Voice" simply told me to put on my seatbelt, and I said no.  It said nothing more, but it was insistent, and repeated the message several times.  I actually tried to argue with it.  I said why?  I never wear it, I was not driving reckless, I was just heading out.

I continued to argue with it for about a mile.  I was now on 39th heading up the hill towards the mall, w/ Pierce College on my right.  Then my brain kicked in, why am I arguing about a safety issue.  The voice with a little more "oomph" said again "Put on your seatbelt."  It was downright demanding now.  Finally, logic set in, and I told myself “well, I am getting on the freeway after all...”

I gradually reached over pulled my seatbelt across my body.  I was now coming down the hill with the old abandoned electronics fabrication plant on my right.   

This voice was definitely in my own head, as in no one else could hear it.  But it was clear.  Clear as the voices heard on TV advertising flying GM cars and hot women flocking to ugly guys who drink beer.  No, even more clear...  Kind of like when you can see Mt. Rainier on a crisp morning and you can make out people hiking up it clear.

The click of my seatbelt into the buckle will forever echo in my mind because it was not 10 seconds later that I was in a potentially deadly accident.  CLICK, the seatbelt latched, and out of the corner of my right eye, I see a guy trying to pull out into traffic from the road that now leads to Bradley Park It was a black truck. 

It was the one time that I was not speeding like usual, it's a 35, and I was doing maybe 40 Max.  Forty is slow when compared how most drive on that stretch, and I was a little shook up from my conversation, so was driving "EXTRA" cautious.  He hesitated also but gunned it across.  He didn’t leave me much room, but I didn’t have to brake.

Right behind the truck, at the stop sign was an elderly man in a maroon Buick.  When I realized what he was doing, it was too late.  He jammed on the accelerator, and jumped into the road.  His big car square in front of me, the nose of my car hitting the driver’s side door.  My car stopped like a hard hit cue ball, and his spun out into traffic.  He almost hit another car in the far left lane (at my orientation would have been his far right.).

My knees slammed hard into the plastic cover under my steering wheel. Adrenaline flooded my veins.  The impact thundered with the sound of breaking glass and steel crumpling like tinfoil.  I immediately unclicked my seatbelt, and jumped out of the car.  I ran over to the other car to provide first aid.  I could see that the drivers head was bleeding slightly.  His passenger was fine, but he obviously was looking straight at me when the impact occurred. 

I scrambled trying to flag someone with a phone, and then saw a police officer, and sprinted towards his car.  Contrary to popular belief, the police are there when you need them sometimes...  He called a medic, and I was just panicked.  Luckily, no one was seriously injured.  Luckily, everyone involved was wearing a seatbelt.   

I remember a lot about the following moments.  I saw my ex-girlfriend drive by in her little red car (Tonya H. for those who are counting...) I was almost crying, emotionally screwed up.  I just starred at my car.  I watched it bleed to death.  I wanted to perform CPR (Car of Paul’s Resuscitation) or First Aid.  There was nothing I could do though, just watch as radiator fluid and oil leaked into the storm drain.  Quite possibly several salmon died because of this.  I loved that car, and I had just made my final payment.  I also loved salmon.  I was devastated.

I was also rejoicing.  I don't know why God (he/she/it/them) spoke to me then, or if it was even God at all.  But it WAS a spiritual presence that coerced me into putting on my seatbelt.  I don't need Pascal's Wager to find that out.  Perhaps keeping me alive, definitely from major trauma.  I then knew that I have a great purpose in life, but still, I don't know what it is. 

What I do know is that there was about three seconds before I clicked my seatbelt to when I hit that car.  Somewhere I heard that there are no coincidences, things happen, and they happen for a reason.  To this day, when I cross that section of 39th avenue, I still have flashbacks, and I still thank God.

The pain did not hit me until that next day.  I declined medical treatment at the time, thinking it was just bruised.  I quit running for a while, and never was able to get back to where I was athletically, though I tried a few times.  I always had a little knee pain from poor technique, but now it was near impossible to run more than a mile without some debilitating pain.  I tried a few times since then, saw physical therapists, got a bit better, but still gave it up as a hobby.  I do run for fun here and there for short distances (<5 mi).  I just like the feeling of freedom when running.  I try and cycle a bit now too.

I told a few people about my story, some believed me, and others thought I was crazy, or suffered from PTSD.  Many said that it was just coincidence.  I had one person say that I am lucky, and am living a “protected” life.  One person, whom I did not really know, honestly, actually told me that I am destined for special things with such conviction, that I thought she had actually seen my future, and heard the voice too.  It's odd to me because if Christ was reborn, and told the world he was christ, they would think he was just another whack job illusionist like david copperfield or something? but I believe.